#beDeekari♥

okay this year as usual aku terlibat dgn Mssps "yg sgt memenatkan dan mencabar kesabaran aku" -.-
aku terlibat cause aku ni bandies, bukannya atlet wakil sekolah tu... alaaa, aku just setakat wakil rumah sukan boleh laaaa nk dpat num 1,2,3 tu, yea laa kan cikgu mana pandang akuu :P  hahahha #AyatTouchingBulat :P

tapi, MSSPs taun ni tak seindah lagi macam taun lepas....
semalam, ada reheasel for perasmian MSSPs 2012, so aku kena pg sana laa...
sampai ja aku kat sana, aku tersenyum sorang, #okay mcm org gila la -.-
you know why? aku tengok balik tempat2 yg ada kenangan aku dgn dia dulu... and, dalam kepala otak aku masih lagi terbayang2 squidwardtelingacapang.... #okay sumpah aku dah rinduuuu dia sangat2, I Miss How Close We Were :'(
tapi, apa boleh buat, aku pendam ja dalam hati aku ni, seriously I'm missing him...but aku kena kuatkan diri aku ni juga la untuk hadapi semua tu, dah memang tu lumrah hidup pun kan? Let by gone be by gone, but the memories always still rooted in my mind forever squidwardtelingacapang... I'm not so sure even if this year he's still take part in sport or not.... but I keep wondering by myownself, kalau dia masuk MSSPs taun ni, dia ingat ke tak lagi kenangan2 kami dua kat situ? I think, for sure tak...dia tak mungkin akan ingatkan benda remeh mcm tu, tambah lagi berkenaan dgn aku kan? aku ni siapalah sangat bagi dia?
kemarin petang tu, semua tempat aku tengok, aku dah terbayangkan dia and tetiba aku tersenyum sorang tanpa aku sedar pun aku duk tersenyum sorang2...tapi apa lagi yg aku boleh buat, just SENYUM ja la sambil ingat balik KENANGAN2 LAMA kan3? aku rasa most of you guys pun mcm tu juga kan3?

tapi mungkin Allah kesian kat aku kan? so thats why dia tunjukkan aku squidwardtelingacapang terussss depan kedua mata aku ni....Ya Allah, aku tak tau apa perasaan aku time tu, sedih? hemmmm, happy? hemmmm or heratless? arghhh, semua sama ja lah... tapi untung sangat dia tak nampak aku, aku bersyukur sangat....tapi aku hairan, asal aku dgn dia selalu terserempak, tapi aku jea yg perasan dia, tapi dia? tak pernah pun perasan aku...or maybe sebab kami tak da jodoh nak terserempak even for once time.... or maybe aku masih sayang dia so thats why, aku jea yang boleh nampak dia?! ohhh nooooo wayyyyy!!!!!!!  tak mau la mcam ni Dayang oiiii, stop it, you've got to stop your ownself from loving him...please dayangggg pleaseee laaaa, jangan lemah, ingat pesan Keril, aku kena kuatkan diri aku juga walau apa sekali pun kay? :)

okaylah bubyeee, aku sambung busykan diri balik ;) masa ni lah masa terluang pun dalam hidup aku, so aku kali ni aku just post ni just nak luahkan rindu aku kat dia jaaa, hemmm, kay lah bubyeeee ;) Assalamualaikum ;)
#I miss you, but youuuuuuuuuuu.................

this eve, me and Jue along with Nget, we went to release tension for a while after struggling training the band.. so we had decide to go to I-box for a karaoke sesion.. long time no visit to I-box...well, it's full of memories between me and squidwardtelingacapang... and again today I had force myself towards it.
its okay then, I had set my mind that I came there just to have fun with my friends only >.<
in the middle of the fun having karaokeing some "Korean" songs, suddenly, Jue had pick a song which is, "Aishiteru"...okayyy, right from that moment, I just keep quiet but meanwhile my head was already packed about of him~ erk -.- and I'm hate it so freaking much, Ya Allah, please let those thoughts about him off my mind, pleaseeeeeeeeeee?????


Its still rooted in my mind so clearly, last 26 June, you had sang that song to me, and on that time we went for karaoke with Rudy too.... hemmmmm~

Seriously I hate you despite of loving you inside even instead it hurts me a lot.
You really makes me hurt all over again like you used to do :|
I'm going to be okay, so please let me be :/
You're my true love cause I have love you truly deep inside of mine, and it more than what you expect.
Yet, you're still the one who always make me smile and laugh even if you're the one who had break my heart.

hey, today I just want to express what had happened to my life this lately >.<
AKU TEAM FOREVER ALONE :) !!!!!!!!!!! huhuhuhu, tapi aku bangga okay dengan forever alone aku tu :P

#sebelah ni Hazimah Harun yg comeyyy, she's my girlfriend. nak tackle dia, sini depan dgn aku :P

tau tak sekarang ni alllllllll of my friends masing2 ada bf -.- , jelous ka D woi? =="
hahahahha, tak lah, plus aku happy gila tgok kengkawan aku happy being with their beloved bf, tau tak ;) syukur alhamdulilah :) setiap mlm dlm dewan study, aku and Imah ja terpaksa berkepit kami dua org, cause yg laen semua berkepit ngan partner masing2 -.-  hahahaha, aku tak pa laaa, dah terbiasa dah being alone pn :) tp kesian kt Imah, dia mcm teringat balek ex dia, which is tiap2 mlm tu sentiasa ada depan mata dia~ dia bukannya teringatkan lelaki tu, it just dia teringat time2 dia couple dulu. It was the first time dia couple, then sampai skrg dia tk pernah in relationship ngan mna2 laki pn~ well, dia tu mmg payah sket nk "fall in love"..hati dia tu terlalu berharga bagi aku sebagai kawan dia untuk disakiti lagi~

Then haritu, aku outing with Jue and her bf la, Nget, #as usual aku sorg2, hahaha, tak pa2 bleh jadi setan kt depa ni >.< HAHAHA, okay then kami balek jalan sama2 pg depan library.... and then suddenly, aku ternampak Qie and Kuan tgh date, hahahaha, bayang betapa alonenya aku time tu, depan mata aku, bestfriend aku, Qie tgh date, belakang aku, Jue punnn tgh date, mesra2 lagi :( AND KNOW APA AKU BUAT MSA TU? SECARA TETIBANYA, TAHAP KEGILAAN AKU DTG SELUBUNGI DIRI AKU, muahahaha, AKU JERIT KUAT2 MCM NI  AKU SENDIRIANNNNNNNNNNN.......!!!!!!!!!!! then know what? dalam aku duk kata mcm tu terus aku nampak SQUIDWARDTELINGACAPANG lalu sambil bawa moto nouvo tu la and tk silap aku lah, dia pakai baju Cookie Monster yg sepatutnya kepunyaan aku :P hahahhaa, damnnnnnnnnnnnnnnn, asal kebetulan sgt ntah? -.-

then kat sekolah plak, masa tu exam ADDMATH paper 2, aku ngan Jue and Imah pg turun study sekali dkat Dataran Putra tu time rehat sampaiiiilah 15 minit lagi untuk paper Addmath tu. FYI, Imah ni cukup tak suka rice cracker, yg aku ngan Jue plak mmg die hard fans gila ngan rice cracker tu, or bak kata Imah, "biskut nafas berbau" -.- bodoi la hg Imah oiiii :P dah masa tu rehat, aku pg la beli rice cracker tu dkt Koop, terus Imah belah dari situ, hahahaha, kesiannnnnnnnnnn... then Nget pn dtg la kt situ study + rehat sekali ngan kami... then masa tu ada Nyok, dia ni cekang addmath, haaa apa lagi, join study sekali ngan dia laaa ;) pastu kannnnnnnnnnn, awek dia dtg kat situu >.< OMG, sweet gila depa dua, sama2 pandai Addmath, pastu sama2 study Addmath sambil2 ajar kami semua, tp nampaknya mcm aku and Nyok ngan awek dia ja yg study, Jue and Nget duk bercekarama sambil study apa tah depa dua tu :P (jelous tau!) hahaha, bertuah la org bahagiaaaa :P hehehhe, and guess what? aku duduk di tengah2 kedua-dua sweet couple tu -.- IMAHHHHHHHHHHHH, mana hg masa tu ah? aku sorang2 kot kt situ woi! tp pandai depa perguna aku kan? mentang2 lah depa ni couple, so bila aku ada kt situ, tak dak la cikgu nk kata apa2 kan? yea lah cuba bayangkan kalo tak dak aku? comfirm cikgu2 akan ingat depa tu tgh "double date" kan?

apa2 pun, aku doakan semua kawan2 aku bahagia, bagi aku tengok depa bahagia pn aku dah cukup bahagia, seriously my friends..so here aku nk kasi warning kat Nget, Kuan, Amir, GG, Menteri, hampa jgn buat bg kwn2 aku sedih eh? kalau ada, siap la hampa semua!! ingat aku tk berani :PP even skg aku dah tak tomboy, but jgn cari pasal eh! masalah kwn2 aku, masalah aku jgak. kesedihan kwn2 aku, kesedihan aku jgak :P
hermm, tp tak pa laaa, aku ni mmg seorang yg suka sorang2 pn, yea lahh, SHOPPING, STUDY, JALAN2, sorang2 tersangatttttttttttttttt lah best tau! itu dah jadi rutin aku >.< kay lah duk merepek apa kat sini tak tau -.-, jom sambung study nak? aku kan ada lgi satu paper tak jawab lg ni >.<...kay guys, bubye, nite, tc alll ;) Assalamualaikum, #TeamForeverAlone

hey, lama tak blogging after struggling studying for the exam last 2 weeks :)
Alhamdulilah, semuanya berjalan "kindda" okay2 ja lah~
ouh yea, post ni its all about evrything that had happened within last 2 weeks...
first of all, THE MSSPS HOCKEY CARNIVAL, its our first new experience for our team, but for me, its the second time I went for the hockey match. But dah lama sangat aku tinggalkan hoki, so this year, aku kena start blek dri mulalah~ but its okay, aku, hockey is the only most game that I love to play with >.<
tp, our team tak menang pn, its okay la, asalkan experience tu ada right? ;)

okay3, back to the top, 29 FEBRUARY <------- perasan tak tarikh ni bru wujud taun ni after last 4 year? so it means taun ni was a leap year! ANDDDD, it means that taun ni WE GONNA CELEBRATE APEK'S BIRTHDAY hahahaha, aku ngan Keril berlumba-lumba semata-mata nk dapat tempat pertama first wisher for Apek >.< tp, pandai betul la Keril ni chong aku, buat2 call aku la, just nk lengah2kan aku utk wish apek punya birthday! okay fineeeeeeeeeeeeee, Keril menang -.-, shittos you Keril, aku benci hang! -.-

next was, JAT's BIRTHDAY! 3 MAC!, I'm totally happy on that time cause I was really hope that our relationship will be like we used to be before :) AND ALHAMDULILAH sgt2, me and adek dah kembali mcm dulu. Thanks adek sbb buat akak happy sangat2 hari tu. And thanks jugak sbb adek mmg tertunggu-tunggu pn akak wish. Adek, akak tak kan pernah lupa birthday adek la, and akak harap after this, kita akan still celebrate birthday sama2 lagi kay? and, sorrylah, taun ni akak tak dak hadiah pn nk bg kat adek, it just a small surprise party for you at Pizza Hut tu ja la :( tapi, akak happy sangat on that day, and hope adek pn happy jgak secara ikhlasnya kay? :DD sayangnya Aina tak leh join sama, kalau dia ada sini, kan lgi best? akak just nak buat adek happy ja on your birthday :)

first of all, I would like to say congrats to Apek ,for his second year anniversary with his beloved one :), hopefully that both of them gonna stay for a longer, and longer, and longest time :) amin ya rabbal alamin~
pleasantly surprised when we can see people who are in fun, I was happy. hermm, how good if I could feel the excitement of the thing, so far, I really dream to celebrate the anniversary with a person who I mostly loved, like others. How the feelings that we are able to enjoy this anniversary right? while my friends got anniversary, I'm already happy, what more if I celebrate it? its okay, later when I'm married, I would also be celebrate it with my husband, right? HAHAA  "but can I be able to get married soon, I keep wondering....?"
I hope that Allah has planned the best for me ..

29 January? there was another memories I will never be forgotten, on the same date last year, that is my first day I met and hang out with someone..... hemm, don't know~, someone who I like? or someone who I fell love? hehehehe, on 29 January 2011 date, for the second time, that is where I met with squidwardtelingacapang, but for the first time I hang out with him. First in, 9 October 2010, was the first time we met, at that time we didnt know each other, but have been fate, on that day, we acquainted through "facebook" a.k.a. FAKEBOOK, HAHAHA :D after stumbled upon before. okay, back to the top! on this day, we're both had been known by my friends which his friends as well about our relation through the phone. fate again -.-. really just a shame both of us. they keep talking and mocking us both. -.- thanks guys, cause you guys had him ashamed, so do I...

okay, on this 29 January, at 9pm, will be held AJL 26, where Malaysian artists-the best of the best will battle for the throne as the winner :) aku team #ForeverYuna laaa, my senior! 
even watch at the teaser, I had know it, that AJL is very tough and freankingly competitive this year -.-  check this teaser: 
 btw, tgokkkk, YUNA bawa dua lagu kot doe!!
anyway, dah2 la kutuk Najwa Latif dalam twitter tu, rimas aku tgok duk trending dalam timeline aku pffftttt -.-
haiyoyo, mampus ke dia la, dia ada talent...tapi aku tak rasa la lagu cinta fb dia nk menang -.-..

okay, last 2 weeks, aku lah yg startkan demam (its a normal fever lorhh -.-)
tp itu lah aku, sakit, demam, whateverlah yg bagi aku perkara sakit besa2 ni, SORRY TO SAY LAH!!! AKU TAK KAN MAKAN UBAT! -.- aku mmg suka biar jeaa, sbb antibody aku kuat #bajetla kau Dee ==" (dulu squidwardtelingacapang suka marah aku sebab tak suka mkn ubat )
alaa, dah nama pn sakit, kang nnti lega la kan? daaa~ 
tapi aku demam agak lama la, seminggu -.- ? urghh, tp aku kuat!demam pn boleh study, main2 suma lg 
then lega jap for 4 days, then jue jangkit demam aku, then jue plak chicken pox -.-...
but then, its the strangest thing ever for me, selama 17 tahun aku hidup, tak pernah lg aku terkena CHICKEN POX?! a.k.a. demam campak atau bahasa saintifiknya CACAR AIR    #pandai dak BM aku? 
aku terjangkit dari jue la ni, kan? MAK DATUK!!! gatal tau tak!!! nak garu tak leh,
first day naek chicken pox tu, kat badan jea, then masuk jea second day, which is today (17/1), naek kat MUKA? okay, my face kot? YA ALLAH!! hopefully tak dak parut, amin~
tp takpa, I kindda releif cause, naseb baek aku terkena chicken pox skg ni, so nnti tak kena dah la kan? better kena awal2 an? lagi pun after this dah nak struggling study plak~

cikgu, kami semua sayangggggggggggg sangat kat cikgu, eventhough setiap kali kami semua jalan2 kat sekolah, then tetiba nampak cikgu dari jauh, comfirm, as fast as we can, kami semua lari bertaburan dari terserempak dengan cikgu... HAHAHA, itu lawak, padahal Cikgu Zul bukan nak makan org pn, daa~
banyak kenangan Dermarian ngan Cikgu Zul ni...as we known, dalam kalangan pelajar Derma ni, kami suka panggil cikgu dengan gelaran Mat Arop / Arob / Arup / Roy ==" first aku pindah masuk sekolah Derma time form 1 dulu, suma senior gelar dia "Mat Arop"... #aku tak tau mananya datang perkataan arop tu? ==" dalam nama IC dia, tak dak perkataan A.R.O.P. pn =="
THE MOST MY FAV THING ABOUT CIKGU ZUL is; his smile's face , he's looking so cuteeee >.<
awwwwww , #CikguZulComeyCikguZulComeyCikguZulComeyCikguZulComey
next, aku pernah masuk hostel suatu ketika dahulu, and after first year masuk hostel, Cikgu Zul blacklist nama aku (hehehe, sorry cikgu >.&lt atas sebab2 tertentu, #sebab apa lagi, sebab aku nakai laaa
tapi, Cikgu Zul ni seriesly baek kot!! hati dia mulia sangat2!! masa kali kedua aku nk masuk hostel, dia bagi, tapi aku kena buat surat rayuan laa, (ha ini kerja ayah aku~ pffffffffttttttt ==")
then, aku tak masuk dah hostel~ ngehee
btw, kami selalu ejek Jue, Cikgu Zul tu daddy Jue, ngehee :DD #daddy tak pa lg kan, dari sugardaddy? haaa, ayo!!!

sepanjang minggu ni aku nanges 3 kali , just sebab dapat berita cikgu zul nak pindah ke SMK TENGKU BUDRIAH after he being promoted as PK KANAN 1 PENTADBIRAN...first dapat tau tu, time perhimpunan umum last monday, neway Eisya pn nanges gak eh , aku sembunyi2 jea laa
then majlis perpisahan malam rabu ritu, aku nanges gakk, gila sebak kot! padahal sebelum tu, 2 hari sebelumnya, Cikgu Azizah pn pindah gak, jadi Pengetua terus kat SMK SyedAhmad, tapi I felt nothing, maybe cause cikgu tak pernah ajar aku kot? #entahlaa. tapiiiiiiiiiii, Cikgu Zul ajar Bio kot? memang telah la Cikgu Zul tak pernah ajar aku, aku stream account~ tapi Jue and Eisya sempat dia ajar, and they said because of Cikgu Zul, their Bio always getting better and better in a short period jea tahniah guys!
and tadi pagi pn ada lagi Majlis Perpisahan Cikgu Zul, aku nanges lagi tambah lagi lepas tengok paparan video kt atas tu, siap bawa satu rombongan bas lagi just nak hantar cikgu pergi SMK TENGKU BUDRIAH tu~ #aku, jue, qie, imah, hajar, and yaya pn ikut sama kesian Cikgu Zul teyakk, huhuhuhuhu :') but why cikgu? kenapa cikgu kena pindah before kami habes SPM? cikgu tak sayang batch kami ka? kan BULAT tu murid kesayangan cikgu? kami semua satu batch nak sangat cikgu still on Derma, or BACK IN DERMA!

so for now, we would like to wish ALL THE BEST sir! may Allah always blessing you and family, we all here always gonna missing you so much, we love you a lot sir, DERMARIANS LOVE YOU A LOT ♥♥♥! hopefully, everytime you have any free time, please come and visit us at Derma yup! (saya rindu dengan senyum cikgu, dengan lawak comey cikgu, dengan PEACE cikgu bila lalu tepi kelas kami...)
kay lah gudnite alls, Assalamualaikum, take care! #ForeverAlone~

as known, in 2011, it was a kind of Nightmare for me, because despite all the beautiful, sweet memories that have been engraved on this year, but in the end, all ended up with sadness, bitterness, misery inside me. I swear to myself that I will no longer dealing with anything related to "love", because that love is what has made me be like that, I don'tt want to see myself like that again in time to come. It was a Nightmare for me kay!

new year is equal to NEW YEAR, NEW MINDSET - THINK YOURSELF HAPPIER!

so starting form this moment, I will take this words as my guidelines to move forward further. and I hope, end up, I'm gonna be success with this words that keep motivating me along a year of 2012!

so those are my wishlist ;  
 
#1. STUDY HARDER! but in a wise way, don't push yourself into it, but makes yourself interest into it
#2. FORGET SQUIDWARD TELINGA CAPANG ! stop your feelings upon him, stop the your LOVE upon him, stop your mind and thoughts about him, and stop crying over him, daa~ it just makes your eyes become flaw =="
#3. A HEALTHY LIFE! just because of this 2012 is the year where I will sit for the SPM, so that  I eat uncertain, so my body weight increased, plus my face will be parking by acne and so on. pfffttt =="
#4. LETS PARTAY WITH FRIENDS! I'm gonna always chill up with my friends. Moreover, 2012 was the last year for us to enjoy the sweet moments of the school.
#5. IMPROVING IMAN! I hope that I can improve my iman, plus I can add my knowledge about Islam more.
#6. GETTING LICENSE! hope that I can do best to get a car license quickly, cause, abah had told last week, that "next year I should really learn to drive efficiently and quickly get a car license"okaylah abahhh .
#7. BE FREE!. Free from all the heart-wrenching pain that I’ve encountered the past year. aku tak sanggup lagi nak tengok diri aku yang pernah broken dulu. NIGHTMARE!!
#8. FIX IT UP! hope that I will having a better relationship with my family. I'm dying to have back my family like before
#9. STILL DAYDREAMING! as usual laa, for me, dreams are aspirations, and aspirations are reality . and I dreams that tonight I'm gonna celebrate this new year with Squidward Telinga Capang lagi
#10. BE ABLE TO SAY " I GOT EVERYTHING ON MY WISHLIST YAWW! "
  
kaylah guys, thats all for tonight. I wish you guys A HAPPY NEW YEAR, MAY YOUR WISHES COME TRUE, MAY ALLAH ALWAYS BLESSING US .  bubye, assalamualaikum, #TeamForeverAlone yaww!